Today's New Beginning: On discipline

I have been attending a forum on progressive parenting. Part of today's topic was house rules and discipline. It sure got me thinking about my parenting style on discipline. As I also need time to digest and pour over my thoughts and feelings, let me just share some of the most powerful statements/thoughts from today's session.

Discipline is NOT punishment, threat, or humiliation. Enough said.

from No Perfect Parents

Sometimes, we, as parents, feel as if we need to show our kids that we are right, and they are wrong. "I told you so" is a form of humiliation. To drive home this point - I thought about all the times when I have been told "i told you so." Try it. How do you feel?

Speaking of humiliation - have you ever been told off in front of other people? Think of a time in school, or in one of your office meetings... or even at the dinner table with your parents. How did it feel? Never discipline in front of another sibling (or other people). A child also needs his privacy.

Finally - let the natural order of the physical/logical world take its course. Coach Pia gave the example of her 9 year old son losing his DS/PS2. There was no need for her to reprimand her child on how expensive the toy was, or how he was not responsible enough about taking care of his toy. The fact that he now has no DS/PS2 to play with - was enough to make him feel bad. It is the consequence of not having the DS/PS2 that has taught him to better take care of his things/toys in the future.

I loved that. The world does have its way of teaching without us parents having to interject. All we have to do is to be there beside our children to guide them through life's lesson. Coach Pia helped her son go around the neighborhood to try to look for the toy. The happy ending was not that the toy was found; the happy ending was that her son realized the consequences of his own actions, and also saw how his parents were there to support him and love him, despite losing a toy.



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